Before you start that PhD
If I had the chance to send younger me a few notes before blundering into a PhD, it might go a little something like this.
Hey Bill, it’s Bill, from the future,
We’ve had a pretty good time going through our undergrad and master’s degrees. The work was hard at times, sure, but let’s be honest: there was a substantial amount of ‘recreation time’, right? In that pub? And the Student Union? And that one Thursday night we don’t talk about anymore? Yeah. And that’s good – great, in fact. But it’s PhD time now and you gotta step the fuck up. Put on your big boy trousers, dust off the lab coat and keep your eye on that one good P100 pipette. No timetables, no lectures , just you. I’m going all Schwarzenegger here to come back and give you some words of wisdom, so listen up if you want to live – I mean, get through your PhD. Same same.
You don’t have as much time as you think
I know you think that three years is ages (or 6 if you’re a cursed US PhD…), but trust me: it ain’t. It’ll fly by quicker than the speed you made it back in time for two-for-one cocktails at Fresher’s week. So, you’re going to have to plan your experiments. But don’t just plan the experiments, plan for experimental design, plan for running the experiment, plan for when things go a little (or waaaaay) off-track, plan for when all the shit hits all the fans and plan for analysing your data. So much data analysis… Stick it in Google calendar or something you can easily block out hours or days at a time. And try to stick to your schedule. It makes getting shit done so much easier.
Read more stuff
While you’re planning experiments, set aside time for reading. I know that sounds lame, but seriously, set aside at least an hour each day that you devote exclusively to reading the literature. That means reading about the researchers that have gone before you as well as those who are putting out new research. Also, read around your subject: having a broad understanding of how your work fits into the bigger picture is so bloody useful and helps you be a better scientist. You’ll be way more up-to-date on what’s happening – plus where the research gaps are that you can fill – and you’ll perfect the art of reading journals without crying. Because yeah, there’s more to it than skimming the abstract, the last line of the intro and the last paragraph of the conclusion! No, seriously.
Speak to other scientists
It’s safe to say that networking has never been our strong point – you get better at it in the future, but we both know we’d rather be at home with a bottle of wine and a book. Away from all the people. The many, many people… But don’t panic, you don’t have to go out schmoozing at “networking events” (*shudder*), but try to get over that initial hesitancy/terror at talking to other scientists (and, you know, humans in general). They’re not always the unapproachable, lofty academics you think they are. In fact, they’re usually helpful and happy to talk about themselves and their work – which may or may not make them (us?) all deeply narcissistic on some level.
Go out for a beer or a coffee with them, discuss their work, discuss your work, ask questions and you’ll quickly find you’re all bashing faces against the same problems. You’ll also build up a great group of contacts and friends you can ask for support and advice if you need it. Just the other week I was having a beer with a professor of genetics and the director of a research institute! How cool am I now?! Come on – that is kinda cool… right? Plus you’ll learn loads of new things. Probably.
It’s fine to not know everything
Don’t ever be worried to say, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Can you just explain…”. No one will be offended or think less of you. I they do, well thjose guys can eat a bag of dicks. Don’t ever just sit there wonder the fuck people are on about. If you’re wondering, so is someone else.
Similarly, don’t be the knob who always gives bullshit replies when you’re the one talking, “Oh, yah yah, yeah, I totally get it…” when you know you haven’t got a fucking clue. It’s never a good idea to pretend you know what someone means as you’ll rapidly find yourself way down a pretty dark rabbit hole and you’ll just end up looking like a even bigger bellend. “Sorry, what do you mean?” is absolutely fine to say! Clarify questions, ask more questions – just be honest. Awkward at first but so much better it the long run.
You don’t need to understand everything everyone throws at you right away. No one expects you to. When you don’t know something, just ask. This science malarkey is all about gaining knowledge and experience, so always feel comfortable to gain it. Science only works because we don’t know everything, yet.
Relax
In between planning experiments, reading, pulling the occasional all-nighter in the lab (because sometimes it feels cool to be in the lab after dark!), networking and asking questions, make time – don’t try to find time, make time – to relax. It’s a complete myth that you need to be in the lab 24/7 to be successful. You need to balance things. Don’t spend all your weekends in the lab or the library. Get out. Soak up that vitamin D! Do some exercise. See friends. Sure, sometimes you have to dash into the lab for an hour or two on the weekends, but don’t make it a habit. The weekends are your time and you’ll be happier and more productive for taking advantage of them.
A bigwig academic once told me, “I don’t trust people in the lab all the time doing all the experiments. I expect you to be smart enough to be in the lab when you need to, doing the right experiments.” I like that. Be that person.
Anyway, I think those are the main points to getting through your PhD with your sanity mostly intact – defo brace for the occasional meltdown, but hey, that’s just life. Oh, save all your data to the cloud (do you have the cloud yet?) – don’t trust mechanical hard drives! But most of all, remember: it’s your research, so make the most of it because there’s nothing else quite like it. But don’t let it take over your life.
Bill
P.S. That facebook thing totally takes off before kinda dying again, 56k modems become archaic real quick, AI’ll be replacing loads of what you do in the future, no one’s colonised the moon, being a nerd is totally cool now (for reals), VR’s a thing but kind of shit and there still aren’t any goddamn hoverboards, ffsm, but I’m pretty sure some dorks are building robots they can bone… so, peaks and troughs.